Dares and Such
by ChibiNeko313
Summary: A crackfic with characters from FMA and Death Note! Reader-participation, dare the characters! And yes, there is a magical portal... Rated T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Alright, first story! LET'S DO THIS! Thanks for reading, whoever you might be, please review, I'll be accepting constructive criticism ^3^.

Key: ChibiNeko313 ***Character***

**Chapter 1: Cracktastic Fanfics and Portals**

ChibiNeko313: Hi everyone! Welcome to Dares and Such, starring the cast from FMA, Death Note, and more!

**Edward Elric: The hell... WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? HOW DID I GET HERE?**

CN313: How do you think?

**Ed: … Screw you...**

CN313: You want to, don't you? *winks

**L/Ryuzaki: Excuse me, miss, but do you have any more sugar cubes?**

CN313: *squees L! -ahem- I mean, yeah, sure. *gives

CN313: Ok, sorry about that. Sadly, I wrote this on a whim, so I don't really have any dares...

**Misa Amane: Um, what's that? In your arms?**

CN313: Huh? Oh, you mean my prized plush Pikachu backpack? It was a gift from a friend. I hold it like a teddy bear and nibble the ear when I'm trying to prevent myself from fangirling.

**Light Yagami: Right... Can I go home?**

CN313: What was that, Imagay?

CN313: Right, anyway. Thanks for reading, and yes, I know this was short and incredibly dumb. Please leave any dares and ideas in the reviews... I'll keep working hard!

**Colonel Roy Mustang: This is work for you?**

**Ed: *rabidly trying to escape**

**Alphonse Elric: *having friendly conversation with Watari**

**L: *eating sweets, not caring that I'm staring at him**

**Misa: *flirting with Light**

**Light: *not caring**

**Riza Hawkeye: …**

**Winry Rockbell: *chatting with me**

**Mello: *maliciously eating chocolate**

**RandomGuy: I LIKE TRAINS**

CN313: I think I'd better stop here... Honestly I'm getting bored myself... *takes chocolate from Mello, starts eating* But for cereals, guys, please review, leave me destructive tools, and GUYS!

**All: What?**

CN313: *hugs all

**All: Wtf..?**

CN313: Nothing, I just love you... all... SO MUCH TT^TT

**Al & Winry: *pats head/rubs back**

**Ed: Uh... er... sorry for, uh, yelling at... you...**

**L: *offers cake**

CN313: *gets up using Al & Winry for support, takes cake

CN313: Thank you, all. *whispers to Ed* I'm a Resembool Ranger, y'know...

**Ed: *glare/blush**

CN313:... shorty

**Ed: WHAAAT? *flips out**

CN313: OK I'M STOPPING HERE! BYE, PLEASE REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews! So, have fun, and review some more, I guess!

Key: *ChibiNeko313* ***Character***

**Chapter 2: Kitty Cats and Awkward Hugs**

CN313: Hello again, my sweets!

**L: ...sweets?**

**Light: Please try and contain yourself...**

CN313: Um... L, babe, love ya, but chill. Anyway, today's dares are from my good friend, Ilvhstry! Thanks for the review!

**Ed: Remind me again why we're here?**

CN313: You were summoned by my magical portal to fulfill my dear readers' dares. Any other stupid questions, drudge?

**Ed: WHAT THE HELL IS A DRUDGE?**

CN313: Don't think you wanna know... Oh, and be aware, I will call you short. Often.

**Ed: I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE!**

CN313: Good authors don't play favorites. Ilvhstry taught me that. ON WITH THE DARES!

**Ed: Aren't you short too...?**

**Edward! You must go into Central in a kitty costume and randomly yell: "EVERYONE! LOOK AT ME! I'M CUTE AND CUDDLY!" And for every weird look you get, you must give ChibiNeko313 a hug.**

**Ed: Oh, for CHRIST'S SAKE!**

CN313: Wait, my dear Edward! There's more!

**Alphonse! You are to go with Edward and pet him when he yells that he's cute and cuddly. If you do so, I will give you fifty kitties.**

CN313: *laughing maniacally

**Al: ...kitty?**

CN313: ED! TO THE CHANGING ROOM!

*Ed comes out and looks angry as hell, but is still the most adorable neko CN313 has ever seen*

CN313: *glomps Ed

**Ed: You bitch...**

**Al: Brother! You... you're so cute!**

CN313: All the EdxAl fans just died... Have fun you two! Ok, so I had Watari over there hook up cameras around central to follow Ed and Al around, so we'll check up on them later. I'm looking forward to my hugs!

**Misa: (to self: my god, she's crazier than I am...)**

CN313: Next dare!

**Roy! You must admit one thing that you are obsessed with. And it can't be something normal, it has to be some obsession practically nobody has.**

**Roy: MINISKIRT ARMY! AHAHAHAHA~!**

CN313: You have no idea how many people are actually obsessed with that along with you... PICK SOMETHING ELSE.

**Roy: ...I have... I have an entire collection of plushies in my closet...**

CN313: ... OTAKU!

**Roy: *hides in emo corner of shame**

CN313: Let's uh... Let's check up on my Owed Hugs~! WATARI!

**Watari: *goes to screen, screen shows Al caressing Ed's head, Ed grinding his teeth**

CN313: And the hug count?

**screen shows 27**

CN313: WOOTWOOT!

**Winry: … No matter how funny this is, shouldn't we bring them back?**

CN313: Not quite yet, I'm milking this for all it's worth!

**Winry: *sweat drop**

CN313: NEXT~!

**Riza! ****You must use a banana as a cell phone and call your dead grandmother.**

**Riza: ...Gramgram?**

CN313: *looks at Riza with eyebrow raised, gives banana

**Riza: *sweat drop* ...Uh... Gram? It's uh... It's... It's Ritzy...**

CN313/Winry/Roy: *stifles laughter

**Banana: BEEP BEEP BEEP**

**Riza:... It was a bad connection...**

CN313: ...okay that was just hilarious... Moving on then...

**Winry! You must act like a puppy!**

**Winry: ...Huh?**

CN313: Before that, however, let's check on Ed and Al in Central!

**Watari: *salutes, goes to work**

***screen shows Ed in emo corner (technically under bench) and Al screaming "KITTY! LET ME LOVE YEWW!"***

CN313: Oh. My gods. This is GOLD! HUG COUNT!

***screen shows 53***

CN313: MAGICAL PORTAL GO~!

***Ed and Al appear in room***

**Ed: *rips off ears, punches bro in face* How... many... hugs?**

CN313: *checks screen* … 61! I WILL RECEIVE 61 HUGS FROM EDWARD ELRIC!

**Ed: DAMMIT!**

CN313: Oh! Al, here! *gives Al package

**Al: What's this?**

CN313: Your fifty kitties from Ilvhstry! WINRY! PUPPY MODE ACTIVATE!

**Winry: … arf? *sees Ed in cat costume**

**Winry: GGRRRR! *attacks Ed**

**Ed: DAMMIT! *dissapears in cloud of dust**

**L: Um... have you been using my butler this entire time, miss? Or, what should I call you?**

CN313: Oh! Call me Chibi, CN, or Ehron! But my real name goes down with me!

**L: Ok, um, _Ehron_. You only answered my second question, and you are making me very suspicious...**

CN313: Yes, Ryuzaki, I have been using Watari this entire time. He seems to have taken a liking to me.

**L: … I see...**

CN313: Quite. Well, I'm off. This was considerably longer than last time, no? Goodbye, sexy candy pandas! Please review and leave your dares! Bye-ni~!

CN313: And yes, bye sexy candy pandas I meant all you L's out there.

**L: Wha?**

**Light: I wanna be in this chapter!**

CN313: I HATE YOU IMAGAY! GOOD DAY!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the review! Keep it up :D!

Key: *CN313* ***Character* ***guest*

**Chapter 3: Rogue Ninjas and Loopholes**

CN313: Hi guys, and welcome back to Dares and Such, starring ME, the casts from FMA and Death Note, and my dear friend (and dear co-host!)... rogue-ninja24.7!

Rogue: Move, Katniss, mo-...W...T...F? Chibi?

CN313: HI! 3 ^_^

Rogue:Chibi! Why are you here and what have you done with my friend? Wait...Wait...

CN313: Yessss?

Rogue: Chibi... Am I in a room... Full of people... From... Animes?

CN313: SQUEE!

Rogue: Chibi... Send me back. To the Hunger Games. NOW.

CN313: Or what?

Rogue: Or else I will announce to the poor, innocent readers who was in your harem, and all the details of that one dream you had!

CN313: Egads! You wouldn't!

Rogue: *raises eyebrow

CN313: Yeah, you probably would...

**Ed: Um, sorry to interrupt, but... WHO THE HELL IS SHE AND WHAT IN THE NAME OF EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE IS THE HUNGER GAMES?**

CN313: *holds Ed in mother-like position, strokes hair* Shh, it's okay... That is my dear tsundere friend... And needn't you worry about this now... Shh...

**Ed: I HATE YOU!**

CN313: And yet you still owe me 61 hugs...

Rogue: CHIBI! SEND ME BACK TO THE GOD-DAMNED HUNGER GAMES!

CN313: Yeah, ok

Rogue: OK, IN HER HAREM WAS- Wait, what? Seriously?

CN313: Yeah... As soon as you're done co-hosting...

Rogue: DAMN YOU LOGIC!

**L: Hm... And I was so wondering who was in your harem, Ehron...**

CN313: *nosebleed

Rogue: …What is it with the nosebleeds...

**Light: I know... Rogue, was it?**

Rogue: Back off, I have Gale!

CN313: Psst, Rogue! They have no idea about stuff from our world! CHILL!

**Winry: Huh? Our wor- Huh?**

CN313: Nevermind that! On with today's dares, from red! Thanks for the review!

**Everyone including Ed: Call Ed "Shorty idiot"**

**Ed: Wow, I can tell people really like me around here...**

**Roy: Don't we already call you that?...Shorty idiot?**

**Winry: Heheh... Want some milk...Shorty idiot?**

**Ed: AW SHUT THE FUCK UP!**

**Roy: You wish!**

CN313: Aw, you're angry face ^3^! Here, maybe this...

**Ed: Beat up Roy's smug ass**

**Ed: FINALLY!**

**Roy: *snaps fingers**

**Ed(from aftermath of explosion): DAAAAAAAMMIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!**

Rogue: Temper, temper...

CN313: kekeke... GIMME HUG ^3^!

**Ed: Oh gee, what timing (bitch)! *hesitantly side-steps toward Chibi, arms shake, but manage to wrap around her shoulders***

CN313: *having mini heart-attack

**Ed: *blushing* H-how long do I have to do this?**

CN313: *grins widely

**Ed:...Uh...**

Rogue: You'll have to stand there awhile... She's not on Earth anymore.

CN313: *squeezes Ed (cue cat-face)* I LOVE YOU ED!

Rogue: She's back...

**Ed: BACK OFF!**

CN313: That...was...awesome... AND I STILL HAVE 60 OF THOSE LEFT!

**Ed: DAMMIIITTT!**

Rogue: While they go back and forth, here's the next dare.

**L: You get 50 strawberry cakes**

**L: Thanks, but does my fanbase realize I eat more than just sweets?**

Rogue: Probably not. Wow, that was a _really_ exciting dare... *(says dripping with sarcasm) NEXT!

**Light: Kiss Misa for 1 whole minute**

**Misa: YAY!**

**Light: Okay whatever... *kisses**

CN313: *recovers* THE TIMER HAS... STARTED!

Rogue: Nice recovery. So, how was it being hugged by someone so short?

CN313: Hey, he's taller than I am... I think... OK YOU'RE DONE~!

**Misa: Aww...**

**Al: Random, but do 5 back flips and yell 'I'M A CRAZY CAT LOVER!'**

**Al: *does dare**

CN313: I'm kind of impressed, you did the dare with no complaints...

**Al: I love my brother, but please don't put me on the same boat as him -_-"**

Rogue: I hate anime, but even I have to admit how entertaining this is...

CN313: SEE? WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

Rogue: ...nipplescrotums? Isn't that what you said?

CN313: ...yes...

**Roy: Do something that is "fun" to you**

**Riza: Stop worrying about what he might do and have fun**

**Roy: *rips off shirt and whips out like, 7 bottles of liquor**

**Riza: *sighs, has a sip**

CN313: Well... Now's a good a time as any to pack up shop, I guess. Keep up the dares and reviews, thank you all so much! I'm really having fun with this!

**Ed: *hugs Chibi***

CN313: *blushes*

**Ed: ONLY 59 MORE!**

Rogue: Can I go back now?

*cue magic portal*

CN313: MAGIC JUST GOT REAL!

**Riza: ...huh?**


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you a billion times over for the reviews! ^3^

Key: *CN313* ***Character***

**Chapter 4: Cows and Re-appearances**

CN313: Konnichiwa, minna-san ^-^! Welcome back to Dares and Such!

**Envy: Looking at the title... Your scary friend isn't back is she?**

CN313: You were there? I don't remember you being there...

**Envy: You summoned me this time because in another story you read I'm always in the emo corner**

CN313: Ohh, right.

**Ed: So... She IS here? Shit!**

CN313: No, she isn't here... But you're giving me ideas...

**Envy: *smacks* Way to go, pipsqueak! **

**Ed: WHO YOU CALLIN-!**

CN313: Enough, my dearest... Today's dares are from Red once again! That's what the re-appearance is... Thank you, my sweet reader!

**L: Stop teasing me with the 'sweet' comments...**

**Light: Yeah, like she doesn't already provide you with cart-loads of sweets at a time...**

Rogue: HEYOO! Ish me!

**Ed: DAMMMIITT!**

Rogue: Yeahh, I thought "Hey, why the hell not? I like to torture people..." So, here I am...

CN313: ROGUE! *glomp

Rogue: Let's just do the dares...

**L: What do you eat, anyway?**

CN313: This isn't so much a dare, but a good question!

**L: I eat sweets, true, plenty. But I am still a living being, so I need basics like water, too. But my favorite food... Grilled cheese.**

CN313: SO CUTE!

Rogue: WEAK

**Ed: Go... Go talk to L about something or drink a gallon of milk**

**Ed**/CN313: *shudder

**Ed: What? Don't like the thought of me talking to the object of your stalkerisms?**

CN313: No, that would actually be entertaining... No... It's... THE COW JUICE! *vomits

**Ed: *shudder* For once we're on the same page... I'll talk with the emo guy...**

**Ed: *walks up to L* So... W-**

**L: Go away**

**Ed: But I-**

**L: AWAY**

CN313: L! JUST FRICKIN HAVE A CONVERSATION! DAMMIT!

**Ed: 0.o... So, let's talk about... That.**

**L: What?**

**Ed: CN**

Rogue: *already eavesdropping* Ooooo Chibi! Dey are talkin 'bout yeeeww~!

CN313: *shimmies over, leans against door

**L: -always looking at me funny, too.**

**Ed: But, she is kinda nice. If you look past the fact that she tortures us frequently.**

**L: True. She does give me sweets.**

**Ed: And she hates milk and is... Has height complexes.**

**L: So... She's easy to sympathize with...**

**Ed: *nod**

CN313: *trying her hardest not to squee her brains out

Rogue: *smiling at Chibi devilishly

CN313: ?

Rogue: *bursts in room

**L: Oh... It's you...**

Rogue: IT'S ME! So, whatcha talking about?

**Ed: Promise not to tell?**

Rogue: Promise *crosses fingers

**L: Ed, don-**

**Ed: Ok, well, we were talking about Ehron**

CN313: *nosebleed

Rogue: Right, well, she's been listening this entire time. And using my special senses, she just got a nosebleed because Ed called her Ehron.

**L: Tried to warn you...**

**Ed: Shit...**

CN313: !

Rogue: *smiling vainly at success* Okay then... Moving on...

**Roy: Go to a crowd of people and yell:"I am flamey colonel hear me roar!*roar*"**

**Roy: Oh the shame...**

_*poof_

**Roy: *appears in Central, does dare**

**Ed: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET COLONEL BASTARD!**

**Roy: *returns, hides in emo corner**

**Envy: That will do you no good here... I should know...**

**Al: You get a sweet little fun-loving kitty **

**Al: YAY!**

**Ed: Just keep it away from me**

CN313: Awww~! It's so sweet!

Rogue: Yeah, and little... Like Half-Metal over there

CN313: Ooo, nice

**Ed: WHO YOU CALLING SO LITTLE WHEN HE GOES TO THE BEACH THAT EVEN THE SAND LOSES HIM IN THE CROWD?**

Rogue: No...body...?

CN313: Don't worry, it's his thing...

Rogue: Ah. *punches Ed

**Ed: THE HELL?**

Rogue: Don't worry, it's my thing

**Roy: Oh, I like her. She's got spunk. Hey, wanna be in my squad?**

Rogue: Back off, ya old perv. Besides. I have a Capitol to destroy, so... See ya!

**Roy: Capital? You mean-**

CN313: Different things entirely

**Light: Throw a cake at someone's head**

**Light: Okay... *throws cake at Matsuda**

**Matsuda: Heyyyy... That wasn't nicey-nicey...**

**Light: Wtf?**

CN313: Rogue shoulda been here for this!

Rogue: Don't worry... I'm always watching... Heheheh

**All: 0.o**

**Misa: You get to do makeovers for two people and they cant resist at all**

**Misa: Oh, definitely Light-kun and... And... No, Light-kun is perfect... Um...**

CN313: We could get back to you if-

**Misa: You! And... The scary blonde gun lady!**

CN313: Uh, you mean Riza?

**Misa: Uh-huh!**

**Riza: Oh god no...**

_A few hours later..._

**Misa: Ta-da~! Aren't you proud, Light-kun?**

**Roy: Mmm... Well done!**

_Riza is wearing a sparkly navy blue skin-tight dress. Her hair is down and wavy. _

**Riza: I feel so... Vulnerable... *shudder**

CN313: I feel pretty~! Oh so pretty~!

**Misa: You should! Misa worked very hard on you!**

_CN313 is wearing a fitted purple dress that swishes at the bottom, which reaches her knees. Her hair is in an up-do._

**Ed: …**

CN313: *ridiculously provocative pose* Do you find this... Distracting?

Rogue: *trying not to laugh* We're only human, Chibi. We're only human.

**Lust: Well... Some of us...**

**Riza: … Can I take this off now?**

CN313: Yeah, OK

**Riza: Aren't you coming?**

CN313: Oh helllll nawww bro! This is the shiznits!

Rogue: Okay then...

**Riza: I dont know... wait go with the flamer (Roy) and shout something that you never said **

_*Riza and Roy appear in Central*_

**Riza:... Okay. SOMETHING I NEVER SAID~!**

**Roy: Don't think that's what she meant...**

_*Both get portaled back*_

**Riza: See? It worked.**

CN313/Rogue: Next dare~!

**Ed: I rephrase that last dare on the last chapter. Beat up Roy's smug ass, and Roy can't have his gloves with him _or_ use Riza for help.**

**Ed:W00tw00t! IMA KILL YOU COLONEL BASTARD!**

**Roy: ...Shit**

_*about a half-an-hour later...*_

**Roy: *dead**

**Ed: HELLZ YESSSSSSSSS!**

CN313: I'm strangely satisfied...

Rogue: Aw, I kinda liked him...

**Ed: *ranting about how Mustang "totally had it coming"**

**Light: Uh... Next... Dare?**

**Light: Tell everybody your deepest darkest secret _or_ spend the rest of the chapter in a frilly blue dress.. **

**Light: …**

Rogue: Okay honestly you get no choice in this. I am forcing you into a frilly blue dress because that is HILARIOUS

**Light: ...*sigh* Damn. *changes**

_A couple of minutes later..._

**Light: There, happy?**

**All: ...Pfft... AHAHAHAHA! **

CN313: *laughing* N-n-next... d-dare! AHAHA! Oh...

Rogue: What?

CN313: We're out of dares...

Rogue: Oh...

CN313: Yeah... Thanks for all the reviews~! Keep it up! Next chappie we'll have dares from Devil'sEyeAlchemist13! Bye bye~!

Rogue: See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!

**Ed: Wouldn't wanna be me either -_-"**


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you all sosososoooo much :) I am having bunches of fun writing this! :D Thanks Devil'sEyeAlchemist13~!

You know the key by now, right?

**Chapter 5: N00bs and Invaders**

CN313: Konnichiwa~! Today, I will be having 2 CO-HOSTS! One, who we've all met before, ROGUE!

Rogue: I hate you for making me do this...

CN313: And two, a newbie (treat her well, she's fragile): EMO LOVER!

EL: Hey! I'm not fragile! Why am I even... Wait...

CN313: What?

EL: Are these... Animes?

CN313: Well... Yeah.

EL: Which one is L?

CN313: *points

EL: Oh... He's not as cute as you made him sound... But he is kinda emo-looking...

CN313: Elle, cut it out. You have Chess, remember?

EL: I don't even PLAY chess

CN313: No, like the Cheshire Cat. Chess.

EL: Riggghhht...

**Ed: SHIIIIT! WHAT'S WITH ALL THE PEOPLE!**

EL: And that's... Ed, am I right?

CN313: *nod

EL: Wow, he IS short! You're the perfect couple!

**Ed: NO WE AREN'T!**

CN313: ...My hugs beg to differ... GIMMEGIMMEGIMME!

**Ed: DAMMIT.**

Rogue: Heyo Elle, watch this!

EL: ...What's going on?

**Ed: *hugs CN**

EL: ...And the mom was like 'WTF'?

_*sorry, inside joke_

Rogue: This was from another chappie, basically, he has to hug her 58 more times

CN313: *France laugh

_*Let it be noted that I have regrettably not seen Hetalia (yet). I have, however, come to understand that France has a very creepy laugh_

Rogue: WTF mate?

_*Sorta kinda another inside joke_

**Ed: *pulls away**

**Ed: I HATE THIS!**

CN313: Heheh, I don't ;D

EL: Um... Isn't this supposed to be a dare show? Or something?

Rogue: Oh, let them have their fun. Let's get this over with.

CN313: WAIT WAIT HOLD IT HOLD EVERYTHING! IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

**Lust: Well, no need to shout...**

CN313: Today's dares are from my leader, the Devil's Incarnate herself! DEVIL'SEYEALCHEMIST13! KYAA~!

Rogue: Nobody takes my servants from me~! :H

CN313: Chill, yo! And since when did I ever serve you?

**Ed: Drink a gallon of milk. Whole milk. Straight from the cow. *brings in cow* This is MooMoo. She's got milk waiting for you! **

CN313/**Ed**: *vomits

CN313: ...At... At least it's not me... *shudder

**Ed: NO WAY! NUH-UH, NOT HAPPENING!**

Rogue: OH YOU BET IT'S HAPPENING! *shoves udders to Ed's mouth

**Ed: *flailing and gagging**

CN313: ...The faster you drink, the quicker it gets over with...*gag

EL: I think they're done! Woah...

CN313: I'm genuinely impressed... WATASHI EDO-KUN DAISUKI~!

**ED/**Rogue/EL: **WTF?**

CN313: Kekeke... Japanese is fun, no?

**Al: Here's a free cat just for being you! I trained it so that it LOOVES ED! (kinda like I do, but way less potent then me) **

CN313: OH HELLL NO BIATCH! EDO-KUN IS MINE!

EL/Rogue: *restrains CN* Woahhh, down, girl.

CN313: Grrrrr...

**Al: KITTY! *grabs**

**Cat: HISSSS! *claws Al, runs to Ed**

**Cat: Prrrr...**

**Ed: GET AWAY YOU STUPID CAT!**

CN313: ...What was that, damn rat?

**Ed: What?**

CN313: Nothing... Just a reference...

**Ed: …**

**Roy: Here's a bottle of Jack Daniels. Enjoy! You have to drink it all at once!**

Riza: Before Roy does that, french kiss time! 

**Roy: Much obliged... *puckers**

**Riza: Okay... *grabs piece of french toast, kisses**

**Roy: Awwww~...**

CN313: ONHONHON I love loopholes~!

_*5 minutes later..._

**Roy: *drunk**

EL: I can't believe he drank that entire thing in 5 minutes...

Rogue: I can't believe he ripped his shirt off...

**Ed/**CN313/**Riza**: I can

**Envy: You're such a freakin weird cross-dressing bisexual palm tree that no one will ever like! Deal with it. And I really want to kill you right now for killing Ed in the original. By the way, you deserved to die the way you did in Brotherhood. Rot in HELL YOU LITTLE BASTARD! **

**Envy: *retreats to emo corner**

CN313: It's okay, Envy... _I_ like you!

**Envy: ...Aren't I already in hell?**

Rogue: Aw, poor little bi palm tree... NOT!

EL: You're so mean! Even if he's an anime, he still has feelings!

CN313: Weelllll...

**Envy: I'm a homonculus, therefore have no soul... But I do have feelings...**

CN313: I LOVE YEWW~! But you did kill Ed... UGH INNER TURMOIL~!

Rogue: Rigghhhtt...

CN313: So, normally, I only do 1 reviewers dares per chapter... But, because I'm FUCKING AWESOME, I will make an exception today :)

EL: Greaaaat. Now I'll be here even longer!

Rogue: My sentiments exactly

CN313: So, thanks Random Persion!

Rogue: Wow, amazing grammar...

CN313: Don't be mean to my precious reviewers!

**Nooooo! *brings Roy back to life* It's OK, Ed,I know you had to do it for the dare... **

**Ed: I would have done it anyway!**

CN313: And puh-leeze, I brought him back! I'm not heartless, y'know...

**L, eat this triple-decker-chocolate-swirl-strawberry cheesecake! *hands cake* Now beat the crap outta Light!(have fun) **

**L: Thank you... *eats**

**L: *beats Light until he literally craps**

Rogue: ...Was it necessary to strip Light and tie him down?

CN313: Kekeke... Of course! *wipes blood from nose

EL: Is this that yaoi or whatever stuff you talk about?

CN313: Of course~!

**Light, either imitate Zim and say "You lie!" every time somebody lies, ooor paint yourself hot pink with purple stripes and stay like that tell this fanfic is done**

**Light: I already wore a blue dress... So I might as well paint myself... *paints**

CN313: Light is dressed like Zim! My life is complete! ARIGATOUUU!

Rogue: …...

CN313: Are you... Restraining a nosebleed, dear Rogue?

Rogue: N-n-no!

CN313: Well... He is the one I'm writing you to have sexual tension with...

Rogue: Huh?

CN313: Okay, here's how this works: You have tension with Light and Roy; EL will eventually have tension with Al; And I obviously have it with Ed and L!

**All: ...*shudder**

CN313: Ah~, the inner workings of a fangirl~! :D Last dare!... :(

***gives Al fluffy blue kitty***

**Al: Thank you, but... Why is it blue?**

CN313: Maybe it's immitating Kaito?

EL: ...That's Al?

**Al: Oh, hi! Nice to meet you :)!**

EL: ...*blush

CN313: ...Toldja

Rogue: Yup...WE WERE SO RIGHT! HIGH FIVE!

CN313: *high-fives

CN313: Byebye minna-san~!

**Al: Thanks for all the kitties!**

EL: … Bye...


	6. Chapter 6

OMG! So many reviews! Thank you thank you thank you~! Oh, and I thought I'd let you know: EL and Rogue were forcibly written in. They refused to co-host, so I'm getting my revenge... Heheheh... Anyways, thanks, and you know the key :). Oh, and I don't own Death Note, FMA, Rogue, Emo Lover, Hippopotomonkey, Sheep Face, or Blondie, and NEVER WILL!

**Chapter 6: Revenge and Siblings**

CN313: Helloooo everybody~! Today is a fun one indeed...

Rogue: Even I'm afraid when she acts like this...

EL: *trembling in corner

SheepFace: Woah... So this is what your mind is like? Sweeeeet...

Hippopotomonkey: Chill, bro... But what's with the animes?

Blondie: MY HAND'S A DOLPHIN! :D

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE ALL OF YOU?**

**Ed: Wait... Like what?**

CN313: *rubbing hands together evilly, cue demon anime eyes

**Ed: ….Oh**

CN313: Let's start the dares... Shall we? Kekeke... Thank you, loyal reviewer Red!

**Roy: Do you think I'm evil or mean? Eat 50 donuts then 100 peanut butter jars until you throw up**

Rogue: Sorry to break it to ya...

CN313: He does that every day before the show starts... Nobody really knows why... AND I'M THE AUTHOR!

**Roy: *barf**

EL: Oh my god that is sooo disgusting...

SF: Awesome!

H: EW~! That's grody...

B: Heehee, ju vant tissue?

CN313: Uh... Next?

**L: Eat until you feel sick to your stomach**

**L: …Great...**

_*2 days later_

**L: *still eating**

_*The day after that_

**L: *looking a bit green but still going**

CN313: I'll skip to the point, it took him 5 days to up-chuck

**Light: -_-"**

Rogue: My sentiments exactly

EL: That was scary... :((

B: *nods

CN313: Let's go people! There's 5 days of catching-up to do!

**Riza: NOOOO! That's not what I meant! Go to a crowd of people and shout: "I'M A HOOKER! PAY ME 100 AND I'LL DO YOU!" while in a reviling dress then walk away, and deny the men that offer. That's what you get, Riza! **

Rogue: *maniacal laughter

**Riza: *walks out in hooker clothes**

**Roy: *le nosebleed**

EL: ...What's with the nosebleeds?

Rogue: I know. I know.

CN313: ...Hey SheepFace, remember when you got nosebleeds all the time, and then when you were-

SF: *nosebleed

CN313: GAH!

_*Riza appears on street corner_

CN313: Okay, since this will be an EXTREMELY long chapter, I have WatariCam on, so I'll keep tabs on the amount of guys she denies

**Roy: But... I can't get enough of that dress!**

**Ed: YOU DAMN PERVERT!**

CN313: HENTAIII~!

**All: …**

SF: Isn't hentai anime porn?

**Roy: … Porn? I LOVE PORN!**

**Havoc: Down, boy...**

**Ed: Blow up Roy's house using alchemy **

**Ed: OH FUCK YES!**

_*slight Nullmetal ref :)_

**Ed: *claps hands**

_*1 ½ minutes later..._

**Roy: *mouth hanging open**

**Ed: That was... Satisfying...**

**Kimblee: *basking in glory of explosion**

**Al: Am I nice to you? You get a small fluffy black kitten **

**Al: Yay, more kitties~!**

EL: I'm supposed to have tension with this guy?

CN313: Yeah. Oh, Hipp, you'll have it with... Uh...I dunno, Envy. SheepFace, you're a guy, but let's face it, we all know you're gay, so...

SF: Stop it with the gay jokes! I'm straight! I've had a girlfriend! SHE'S STANDING RIGHT OVER THERE! *points at Blondie, who is eating a banana

CN313: THAT PROVES NOTHING! Fine, Sheska, then. *cough*Matsuda*cough* Blondie, with Havoc.

B: Okay ^-^! *walks over to Havoc, jumps on his back

CN313: See? She's cooperative!

**Misa: Do what ever Light tells you **

**Misa: I would do that for Light-kun anyway!**

**Light: Okay, then shut up and sit down**

**Misa: But-**

**Light: Sit**

**Misa: *pouts, sits**

**Light: Make out with Misa for 30 minutes (breaks when needed) **

Rogue: … I'll start the timer...*sigh

CN313: WATARICAM~!

_*screen shows 57_

**All: ...Woah**

CN313: 'Woah' indeed... Oh, Red-chan, your first dare and your sisters dare will be combined next chapter, okay? Thanks! So, next dares from Random Persion once more~!

**Envy,change into...Gir! Annnnd...sing the doom song! On the intercom. (in his voice) **

CN313: That is genius! ENVY! GIR-MODE!

**Envy: Whaaat? OH HELL NO!**

CN313: *glares daggers into Envy, purple aura surrounds

**Envy: O-o-okay, okay... I-I'm going!**

CN313: Heheheh, I thought so...

**Envy: ****I'm gonna sing The Doom Song now! Doom doom doom doom doom, doom doom do DOOM, DOOOM doom do-doom, DOOM do-doom doom doooom, doom doom dooom, do-do-DOOOM! Doom doom doo doom doom, DOOMY-DOOMY-DOOM, doom do do DOOM, Do do DOOM, doomy-doomy-doomy, Doom doom doom THE END **

CN313: Bravo Envy, bravo! … APPLAUD!

**All: NO!**

CN313: APPLAUD DAMMIT! *purple aura again

**All: ...*applause****  
**CN313: I'll end the chappie here because no work and all play makes Chibi tired girl... Okay, ONE more dare!

**Every one randomly dances at the end **

_*CN313 runs over to stereo, Caramelldansen starts playing_

CN313: Neko-mode, GO!

_*everyone appears as nekos_

CN313: As I suspected... L, Ed, you are the best nekos~!

**Ed: FUCK. YOU.**

_*everyone dances_

CN313: *takes cat ears off, waves them* Byebye minna-san~!

Rogue: I feel like we're missing something...

EL: Yeah, me too...

B:... RIZA!

SF: I knew you weren't a total idiot...

Rogue: Let's not... Mention this to Chibi... And see what happens...

B/H/SF/EL: *nods

**Riza: *appears from shadows* ...What was that? *pulls out gun**

Rogue: On second thought... RUNNN!

B: *starts singing The Llama Song* The endz~!


	7. Chapter 7

Hellooo minna-san :)! I'm soooosososo sorry that this has taken so long! I have no excuse other than I have been procrastinating... PLEASE FORGIVE ME! D:

**Chapter 7: Epic Chainsaw Battle**

CN313: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the show! ^3^

Rogue: I'm so excited! Excited! Exciiiiiiited!

**Ed: Woah... What's up with her?**

CN313: Well, we've been dared by Red and her little sister to have an epic chainsaw fight! Rogue here is a big fan of violence!

**Ed: Should I be scared?**

Rogue: Very... Be very afraid...

CN313: But Rogue... Do you remember our deal?... Heheheh...

Rogue: Deal? Wha- … Oh. Oh dear God... PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

CN313: Yes... Yes, THAT! *maniacal laughter

**L: Might I ask what "that" is?**

**Light: I have a terrible feeling we'll be finding out**

CN313: *whips out Grell's chainsaw

**Grell: Hey~! Give that back! I need it~! Will is going to kill me if he finds out you've taken my death scythe!**

EL: Death... Scythe?

Rogue: HEY, NO FAIR! YOU GET A DEATH SCYTHE? Whatever that is...

SF: I wanna be in this chapter!

B/H: Yeah! Us too~!

CN313: Let the 1st annual Chainsaw Battle... BEGIN~!

_*epic chainsaw battle ensues. EL is hiding in the corner, using Grell as a human shield. Rogue is tearing shit up. She has killed Roy, Riza, Imagay, Misa, and Fuery. CN is kicking ass with her chainsaw death scythe. She has killed the homonculi, the shinigami, Falman, and Havoc. Blondie is running around threatening people with a toy giraffe. Oh wait... She actually just got killed by Rogue... SheepFace is dead, he had been ganged-up on by Rogue and CN, to which they laughed maniacally. Hippopotomonkey is chilling and talking to Watari. Okay, Winry just got killed by Rogue._

Rogue: I FUCKING HATE YOU WINRYYYYY~!

_*On with the battle. Now the living tributes are as follows: CN, Rogue, EL. Ed, Al, Scar, Hohenheim. L, Watari, Mello._

Rogue: *approaches Ed from behind

CN313: *looks up from her increasing mass grave* HEY! YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE DAMMIT!

Rogue: Hm? What's this? Little kitty doesn't want her mate to-

**Ed: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT MATES?**

CN313: Ed NUUUU~!

*_In the end, Ed died. So does everyone else. Rogue and CN are the only ones left._

Rogue: I told you I would win this, Chibi

CN313: Yes, but KILLING OUR BEST FRIEND WAS GOING TOO FAR!

Rogue: What, you mean EL? Peeshaw. You'll be reviving everyone, anyways.

CN313: And then... Ed... And... L... And...*bursts into tears

Rogue: Here, let me put you out of your misery...

CN313: NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! *insert transformation from fangirl to killing machine

Rogue: What? You thought that would faze me?

CN313: *charges

Rogue: *yawns, slashes easily at Chibi

CN313: OH NO YOU DON'T, BIATCH!

Rogue: Wha-wha-what? IMPOSSIBRU!

CN313: *slashes furiously at Rogue, passes out

Rogue: Well... That was... Unexpected... *kills CN

_*End Chainsaw Battle Mode_

CN313: *pops up* Well, played, dear!

Rogue: ...Dear?

CN313: Okay, everyone can come back to life now! ^_^

**Everyone: *wakes up slowly**

CN313: So, Rogue, do want me to tell them what "that" was? Or do you want to?

Rogue: Um... I'll... Let you do that...

CN313: Okay, cool! So... "That"... Well, I promised dear Rogue here that she could win this battle. And-

Rogue: And in return... I promised to cosplay as Winry... *shudder

**Winry: Huh? Really? Why me?**

CN313: Well, she's a violent blonde tsundere, who else would she cosplay as?

**Winry: Good point**

Rogue: *hiding in emo corner of shame

CN313: Well, that's all for today! Love you, byebye~!

**Everyone (except for Rogue, she's still feeling shame): BUT WE HATE YOU!**

B: Oh! Bye! Um... GIRAFFE!

CN313: -_-" Close enough...


	8. Chapter 8

Sigh... So, my goal is to update this story AT LEAST once a week... So that's what I'm doing... Interesting beginning, huh? :P

**Chapter 8: Childhood**

CN313: Hihiiiiii everone!

Rogue: Aw man... Last chapter... Still unsure what to think of it...

**Ed: I hated it! What was with the whole "mate" thing?**

CN313: Uhm... Well...

Rogue: In case you haven't noticed, she has the biggest crush on you... Imaginary crush. You aren't real.

CN313: *goes to cover Ed's ears* Hey! Don't tell him that!

EL: Um... Guys?

Rogue: Run. Run while you still can.

EL: But-

CN313: Shut up, Rogue. E, stay. Today's first dares are from Random Persion (now known as bluekitty8)

**Ed: I always wondered what would happen if you meet Ed, Edd, N' Eddy, so CN313, could ya send him over there and see what happens? **

CN313: Oh my gosh! I love that show! I watched it all the time as a little kid! I LOVE YEWW! *glomps

Rogue: Oh dear God, here she goes again...

**Ed: Wait what are you talking ab-**

CN313: *shoves Ed into portal

**Ed: *appears in cul-de-sac* ...The hell?**

**Double D: Hey! Who are you? How are your eyes such a golden color? Are you wearing contacts?**

**Ed: Um, I'm Ed, and what ar-**

**DD: What? Another Ed? Oh, how exciting! ED!**

_*Ed and Eddy appear_

**Ed: Yeah Double D?**

**Eddy: Got any jawbreakers?**

**Ed(FMA): WHAT IS GOING ON?**

**Kevin: Heyyy, another shorty!**

**Ed(FMA): *hits Kev* CAN A SHORTY DO THIS? WHAT ELSE YOU WANNA CALL ME? A HALF-PINT BEAN SPROUT MIDGET? I'M STILL GROWING YOU REDNECK SUBURBAN IDIOTS!**

_*Ed gets transported back_

CN313: So? How'd it go?

**Ed: *panting**

CN313: Oh, I'm impressed with that short rant, by the way

Rogue: Let's just get this over with...

**Roy: Dress-up like prince Zuko from Avatar**

CN313: *looks up prince Zuco because she's never seen Avatar

CN313: Ohhh, he's that fire-bender whatever guy... Right... Yeah, okay *throws costume at Roy

**Roy: I find this distasteful**

CN313: Go change

**Roy: But-**

CN313: CHANGE

_*Roy eventually comes out wearing costume_

CN313: ...Hold on... *applies makeup

Rogue: Really Chibi? Really?

CN313: Well, it looks better now, and the outfit wouldn't be complete otherwise. So 'hmph.'

EL: Stop arguing, c'mon

Rogue: *sticks tongue out at Chibi

CN313: *flips off Rogue

**Oh, the cat is blue cuz that's my fav color.*hands out chocolate cupcakes with vanilla pudding inside, and gives Al a purple cat* (purple is my 2nd fav color) **

EL/CN313: I like purple too~! :D

**Al: Aw, thank you :)**

**Envy: Bet it's nice having fangirls... *goes to emo corner**

CN313: Right, Envy, because you're SOOOOO lacking in fangirls...*rolls eyes

**L: *nomming the cupcakes**

CN313: ...*glances at L*... *goes over and pigs out with him*

**Ed: *glaring**

Rogue: Aww, are you jeeelllooouuuusss?

**Ed: N-n-no! *blushes* I-I'm just surprised they can eat so much, is all...!**

EL: Uh-huh, surrrree. *starts humming 'Going to the Chapel'

**Ed: *goes to emo corner of shame**

CN313: *comes back covered in chocolate crumbs

Rogue: Geezus, Chibi, at least wipe your mouth!

CN313: Yeah, yeah *wipes mouth

EL: Um... Next... Dares?

**Ed: Either sing "Me vs. the World"By Halo Friendlies, or the "Psych" theme song **

CN313: TO THE SINGING ROOM~!

EL: Since when do we have multiple rooms?

CN313: Since it became necessary

**Ed: …**

**Yes,  
In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity,  
I'm not inclined to resign to maturity,  
If it's all right, then you're all wrong,  
But why bounce around to the same damn song?  
You'd rather run when you can't crawl.  
I know, you know, that I'm not telling the truth.  
I know, you know, they just don't have any proof.  
Embrace the deception, learn how to bend,  
Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end.  
I know, you know,  
I know, you know,  
I know, you know,  
I know, you know**

**Everyone: *applause**

CN313: Glad I didn't have to remind you this time... :D Very good, dear Edward!

**Ed: Shut up...**

**L: Sing the Snickers song! **

**L: *shrugs**

**Happy peanuts soar over chocolate covered mountaintops and waterfalls of caramel. Prancing nougat in a meadow sings a song of satisfaction to the world.  
…**

CN313: *lol-ing like an idiot

**Light: ...Fitting**

CN313: Ahh...Ahaha... *wipes tear from eye* Alrighty, moving on!

**Roy/Riza: French kiss for 42 min :) (yeah, I'm one of those people that thinks your secretly in love) **

CN313/EL/Rogue: Oh please, it's no secret...*looks at one another skeptically

**Roy: ...YAY~!**

**Riza: *puts hand up to stop Roy from trampling her**

CN313: It's a dare, Riza. Just fucking do it.

_*42 minutes later..._

**Riza/Roy: *break apart**

EL: 0.o... I... I'm scarred for life...

Rogue: Right, cuz we haven't done that enough times already... NEXT!

**Ed: dress up like Ed from Ed, Edd n' Eddy... And act/talk like him for...3 chapters! **

**Ed: DAMN!**

CN313: ED DOESN'T CURSE! *throws sci-fi movies and comic books at Ed

**Ed: *now in Ed-wear* What the... I mean... Uh... Herp-a-derp**

CN313: ...Close enough

***gives L that brownie thing from Applebees* (it's really good, it has 4 brownies at the bottom, vanilla ice cream in the middle,then carmal and chocolate sauce on top!)*Al a Egyptian Meu* And Light a bowl of wor-um-ah, spaghetti!... Yeah that's it, spaghetti...* *enter Zim laugh here* **

CN313: *already nomming brownie dessert with L

**L: ...Could we at least use two spoons?**

CN313: Nope! *steals spoon from L after he takes a bite, takes a bite of her own

**L: …**

CN313: *chewing* I'm really trying to get caught up, so...*swallows*... I'm just doing all of Random Persion/ bluekitty8's dares this chapter

Rogue: UGH~!

EL: There's more?

B: *appears twirling* Thanks for drawing my dwhalephin today, Chibi~!

CN313: *waves* You're welcome~!

**Light: What's a... Dwhalefin?**

CN313: A dolphin-whale crossbreed

**Light: ...Right...**

**L: Tell the truth,did your eyebrows/eyelashes get burned off? **

**L: ...*cocks eyebrow**

CN313: I... I don't know what that's supposed to mean, either... What?

**L: Um, no, they did not get burnt off...**

CN313: ...Moving on...

**I forget, is Near there? If he is,  
Near: I dare you to die your hair Day-Glo orange-and-pink, and ride a llama!(I'm just putting random things down at this point..) **

**Near: *looks up from puzzle**

CN313: *grins evilly, holds up tubes of hair dye

_*An hour filled with ropes, chairs, screaming, hair dye, shampoo, and neons later..._

CN313: DONE! Thanks for that dare... How did you know I had a thing for hair?

Rogue: Seriously. She calls it a hair fetish

EL: She's always playing with Chess' hair... I don't like it

**Near: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?  
Mello: HIS BEAUTIFUL GODDAMMED HAIR!**

CN313: Hee~... NearxMello is cute, but...

**Matt: Hey~! What about my hair?**

**Mello: It's still the same, isn't it?**

_*Everyone appears in the Singing Room_

**Matt: Ahem...**

**Sekai de ichi-ban OHIME-SAMA  
Sou iu atsukai KOKORO-ete  
Yo ne?  
Sono-ichi  
Itsumo to chigau kami-gata ni kiga-tsuku koto  
Sono-ni  
Chanto kutsu made mirukoto, ii ne?  
Sono-san  
Watashi no hito-koto niwa mittsu no kotoba de henji suru koto  
Wakattara migite ga orusu nanowo nantoka-shite!  
Betsu ni wagamama nante itte nai n dakara  
Kimi ni KOKORO kara omotte hoshii no KAWAII tte  
Sekai de ichiban ohime-sama  
Ki ga tsuite nee nee  
Mataseru nante rongai yo  
Watashi wo dare dato omotteru no?  
Mou nanda ka amai mono ga tabetai!  
Ima sugu ni yo  
Oh, check one two... Ahhhhhh! **

**Ketten? Kawaii no machigai desho  
Monku wa yurushimasen no  
Ano ne? Watashi no hanashi chanto kiiteru? Chotto...  
A, sore to ne? Shiroi ouma-san kimatteru desho?  
Mukae ni kite  
Wakattara kashizuite te wo totte "ohime-sama" tte  
Betsu ni wagamama nante itte nain dakara  
Demo ne sukoshi kurai shikatte kuretatte iino yo?  
Sekai de watashi dakeno OUJI-SAMA  
Kiga tsuite hora hora  
Otete ga aitemasu  
Mukuchi de buaiso na OUJI-SAMA  
Mou, doushite? kiga tsuite yo hayaku  
Zettai kimi wa wakatte nai!... wakatte nai wa...  
Ichigo no notta SHOOTOKEEKI  
Kodawari tamago no torokeru PURRIN  
Minna, minna gaman shimasu...  
Wagamama na ko dato omowa-nai de  
Watashi datte yareba-dekiru mon  
Ato de koukai suru wayo  
Touzen desu! datte watashi wa  
Sekai de ichi-ban OHIME-SAMA  
Chanto mitete yone dokoka ni icchau yo?  
Fui-ni dakishime-rareta kyuuni sonna eh?  
"HIKARERU abunai yo"sou-itte soppo muku KIMI  
... kocchi noga ABUNAI wayo  
Oh, Hey Baby **

CN313: *holding nose, trying to prevent blood from shooting all over the place

**Mello: 0.o**

Rogue: THE FUCK JAPAN?  
EL: NO MORE JAPANESES!

CN313: ...But I like MattxMello better!

**Light: Eat this worm-and-hotsauce-sandwich **

CN313: Vee~... Come here, my little Imagay~!

**Light: Stay away, dammit**

CN313: *holds up sandwich

**Light: Away!**

CN313: *shoves sandwich in Light's mouth

**Light: MMPH!**

CN313: Yesss... Eat, eat, my little one...

**Misa: Stop being so mean to my Light-kun~!**

Rogue: …...BAHAHA!

EL: ...Um... Okay ew!

CN313: Heheheh! *cue demon sparkle

**Light: *in emo corner barfing**

CN313: Well, now that that's over with, thank you for the reviews, everybody!

Rogue: No! Don't encourage them!

CN313: I HEAVILY encourage them!

EL: There they go again...

**Al: It's okay, brother and Winry get like this all the time, they'll get over it soon ^_^**

EL: ...*blush

**Al: ?**

CN313: So, review, let me know if you have any song requests, and I will get back to you!

Rogue: No she won't

CN313: HELL YES I WILL BIATCH!

EL: *sweat drops

**Ed: *walking around saying "Herp-a-derp"**

**Near/Mello/Matt: *arguing about hair**

EL: ...Bye ^w^"'

CN313: WAIT~! HOLY CRAP! THIS IS PAGE FUCKING 6! OH MY GAWD!

Rogue: Wow, I'm slightly impressed, I think that's a new record for you

**Ed: All these pages of torture... I-I mean, uh... HERP DERP!**

CN313: Byebye minna-san~! I luurrrve yeeww! *waving like an idiot

Rogue: ...Just get me out of here...


	9. Chapter 9

(to the tune of 'My Darlin' Clementine'): Procrastination! And condensation! Of reviews~! Is killing me! Writing is just! Kinda hard~! So please don't! Hate on me~! ...Sorry that I'm so late minna-san~! D: Er... Enjoy? ^_^""

**Chapter 9: Siblings and Awkward Turtles**

CN313: Hello everybody!

**Ed: When will you ever stop?**

CN313: Until A) I get bored, B) Reviewers get bored, or C) I die... Whichever comes first!

**Ed: ...Right**

CN313: So, today, it's actually just me!

**Envy: Thank god**

CN313: Well, me and the reviewers...

**Envy: DAMN**

CN313: But no co-hosts today!

**Roy: ...darn**

**Riza: …?**

CN313: Now, on to my loyal reviewer, and her little sister, Red-chan~!

**Red: That's ok, and THIS IS AWESOME! Cant spell to save my life but still, I LOVE THIS!**

Red's sis: Wow... this is so great! But you forgot to tell Reddy how many men Riza rejected, author

Red: I told you to stop calling me that, little one! But...*Rereads* That's ok, but I bet she only got 5 stupid drunk men

Red's sis: *Whispers* Can you make Reddy go in the show and make her kiss Envy on the cheek? He is sad. Can you do that please, she has a big crush on him, and is to scared to dare him to do any thing.*Shouts* SORRY FOR SHOUTING BUT THATNK YOU FOR WRITING THIS!

CN313: Aw~! YOU'RE SO WELCOME!

_*cue magical portal_

Red: Eh? Where am... Author-chan!

CN313: Hi~! ^3^

Red: Hi! But... Why am I here?

CN313: Etooo... I do apologize... *presses button on remote control

Red: Uh, what does that d- He-HEY! *jerkily moves toward Envy

CN313: ...It's a mind-control remote... Again, sorry

Red: *kisses Envy on cheek, blushes furiously*

CN313: ...Sorry... On with your dares!

Red: *goes back to Reviewers' Room

**L: Are you a endless black hole for food? You get grilled cheese if you can eat it.**

**L: A black hole? "****A black hole is a region of**** spacetime**** where gravity prevents anything, including ****light, **** from escaping. The theory of general relativity predicts that a sufficiently compact ****mass**** will deform spacetime to form a black hole. Around a black hole there is a ****mathematically defined surface called an ****event horizon ****that marks the point of no return. It is called "black" because it absorbs all the light that hits the horizon, reflecting nothing, just like a perfect ****black body**** in ****thermodynamics****. ****Quantum mechanics**** predicts that black holes emit ****radiation ****like a black body with a finite ****temperature****. This temperature is inversely proportional to the mass of the black hole, making it difficult to observe this radiation for black holes of stellar mass or greater." By Wikipedia's definition, no, I am not a black hole. And thank you, grilled cheese is my favorite food. *takes, commences the noms******

Light: Serial killer! Why do I like that? Anyway you, my dear friend, can kill some one on the show that's not these people: L(of course) and my favorite author and the co-hosts, and they have to be revived

CN313: Light! TO THE ROOM OF KILLING!

_*45 seconds later_

**Matsuda: *dead**

CN313: Oooof course... *revives Matsu-chan

**Matsuda: IS THERE ANYTHING I'M GOOD FOR?**

CN313: Hm... This coffee is quite good... ^_^**  
**

**Misa: Go give the Fullmetal a makeover.**

_*Because I'm lazy (as you can see from the super-late update), I'm making this long story short_

**Ed: NEVER dress me as a Loli-type AGAIN  
Misa: Ehh? But you looked so cute!**

**Ed: I LOOKED LIKE A GIRL!**

**All girls in the show: *glare daggers at Ed**

**Ed: Uh... Oh yeah! Herp-a-derp!  
**

**Roy: From my little sis, you get to do revenge on some one... NOT ME PLEASE! **

**Roy: …...*brutally slays plushie of CN313 with a pen, burns remains of plushie**

CN313: ...Dude... That's fucked up...

_*You have no idea how tempted I am to write NULLMETAL REF OMGEEZ LULZ but I... WON'T_

CN313: And... *looks at clipboard

**Riza: Where did that come from?**

CN313: I stole it from you

**Riza: What?**

CN313: Nothing... Anyways, according to the next dare, I have to go cause some chaos

**Light: Oh god... Spare us...**

*****_3 hours later_

****CN313: Um... So guys... Uh...

**L: What happened?**

CN313: Wellll... The studio is kiiiiinda the only place that's been left whole...

**Ed: WHAAT?**

CN313: But... Worse! I GOT KICKED OUT OF AND BANNED FROM HOT TOPIC!

**All: …...**

CN313: What... I like Hot Topic... They have awesomeness there. MOVING ON! *revives reviewers

**Red:Hay there everyone!**

Sis:Hi

Red:DARES!

Roy: Go put fire ants in your pants and the have to be in there for two minutes

**Roy: *puts ants in his pants, flinches**

_*2 minutes later_

**Roy: *scratching where the sun don't shine like no tomorrow**

CN313: Wow, these ants are reaaallllyyy potent... *puts ants in container in a shoe box labeled "For the DOMINATING of WORLDZ!"****

**Sis: Ok then, my turn!**

Colonel Roy Mustang: You can fight my older sister with your gloves, no deaths please! But be careful, she is strong and mastered all weapons!  


**Roy: *lunges at Red**

**Red:WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!  
**

**Roy: ...Fighting you?  
**

**Sis: *Ignoring* Your turn.**

Red: Envy... *Blushes* K-kiss me?

Sis: AHAHAHAH! YOU LIKE THAT THING! AHAHA-

Red: *covers sisters mouth* S-shut up!

Sis: *bites Red's hand*

Red: Ow! What was that for?

**Envy: Do I really have to?**

CN313: Yes. Don't make me use my remote for the second time today

**Envy: ...Fine. *kisses Red**

CN313: I am appeased

****

Sis: Edward Elric, sorry, but you have to be in a pit full of crazy fangirls for a day, AND you can't use your alchemy. Then after that you have to hug the great Author.

CN313: *devil's grin

**Ed: Please... DEAR GOD NOOO! *falls down pit**

_*One day later_

**Ed: *jumps up from pit, attempts to cover self with the shredded remains of his clothing**

CN313: Um... Er...*blushes/gets nosebleed from ultra-hotness of Ed near-naked

**Ed: GAH! YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!**

CN313: *recovers* AM NOT! *fixes Ed's clothes

**Al: Was that alchemy, nee-chan?**

CN313: *looking at hands* Huh... I guess it was!

**Ed: ...How'd you do that without a transmutation circle?**

CN313: ...I'm a fanfiction author, don't underestimate my power

**Ed: 0.o**

**Red:...0_0, ok then last dare from us.**

Make some one sing 'If I Die Young' please.

CN313: I LOVE THAT SONG~! TO THE SINGING ROOM~!

_*Everyone appears in the Singing Room_

CN313: *taps mic

If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a, bed of roses  
Sink me in the river, at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song  
Uh oh, uh oh  
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh well  
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby  
The sharp knife of a short life, well  
I've had just enough time  
If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song  
The sharp knife of a short life, well  
I've had just enough time  
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom  
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,  
I've never known the lovin' of a man  
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand,  
There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever,  
Who would have thought forever could be severed by  
The sharp knife of a short life, well,  
I've had just enough time  
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls  
What I never did is done  
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar  
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner  
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'

Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'  
If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song  
Uh oh (uh, oh)  
The ballad of a dove (oh, uh)  
Go with peace and love  
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket  
Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh  
The sharp knife of a short life, well  
I've had just enough time  
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

**Matsuda: *wipes tear from eyes* That... That was beautiful...**

CN313: Thank you, thank you, I'm amazing, I know!

_*Everyone appears in normal studio room_

CN313: Aw... That... That was it for the Red siblings... Darn... I look forward to your next reviews though, guys! *checks clipboard* Hm... Let's see... Well, I suppose I can fit in one more reviewer!

**Envy: Crap**

CN313: Everybody welcome my awesome pen-pal, Silvereyedfreak~!

**Envy: Oh joy...**

**Hi Chibi-chan!  
**

CN313: Hi Silver-chan! :D

**Silver: Ooh Roy I'm telling Kaede you're cheating on her!  
**

**Roy: ...Huh?**

CN313: Oh yeah, in another fic Silver and I are reading, you're married to Kaede, AKA Devil'sEyeAlchemist13

**Roy: Oh... Now I'm a bit scared**

CN313: A normal occurence

**Sekki: Hello? Aren't you forgetting something?**

Silver: Oh yes, I brought a friend, her name is Sekki and loves near!

Sekki: Baka don't say that! Least I don't love a cross-dressing palm tree!

Anyway... Dares!

MelloxMatt yaoi. 'Nuff said

**Mello/Matt: *look at one another nervously**

CN313: Eheheh... Enough said indeed... MATT! MELLO! TO THE ROOM OF SHMEXYNESS~!

_*Mello and Matt get transported to Yaoi Room_

CN313: That is being video taped. Yes I will send the tapes to you. No, I will not be letting them out any time soon. Moving on.

****

Oh yeah Near would you go on a date with Sekki?

**Near: No**

CN313: You have to

**Near: It was a question, not a direct command. So no.**

CN313: Curse your logic... And your goddamned adorable face... Try again maybe? With no loopholes?****

**Hey Chibi-chan, is marriage to Envy valid in this fanfiction?**

CN313: Yes, it is quite valid... RED! SILVER! FIRST TO REVIEW GETS HIM!****

**If it is can I take Envy on a date! PS: can I give him a kiss?**

CN313: Yeah, sure, a date is fine :)

_*one date between Envy and Silver later_

Silver: *kisses Envy, goes back to Reviewers' Room

**Envy: Great, now I have another crazy fangirl******

**Ed turn into Pride!Ed from Bluebird Illusion!**

CN313: Um... What's Bluebird Illusion? PM me to let me know, thanks!****

**L were you crying when helping light dry off (sounded so wrong XD) and was he really your first friend?**

**L: No, I wasn't crying, and yes, Light-kun was really my first friend**

**L here's a shopping spree at this cool bakery!**

CN313: *steals gift card, grabs L's hand, runs out door

**Imagay why the fuck did you hurt L!**

**Ed: Easy, he's evil**

**Light: Think what you like, I'm not Kira**

**Roy if you don't think I won't tell Kaede, I will, it's a first lieutenant's (and friend's) job to do that!**

**Roy: OKAY! I GET IT!**

**Gifts for hosts! **

CN313: Yay~!

**Pocky, working yaoi paddle, mind control kit, passes for Otakukon, Hunger Games and etc.  
**

CN313: *whilst nomming Pocky* OMIGOSH YAY! I'M SOOOO DRAGGING ROGUE TO OTAKUKON! AND YAOI! SHMEXY DELICIOUSNESS! WOOOO!

**Gomenasai! We are crazy! Arigatou! Byebye!**

CN313: Eheh, it's okay same on this end! Thank you for your reviews, everybody! Once again, sorry for my lateness, and I'm trying to catch up, but please continue reviewing, it makes my day! Oh, anf another thing, this is page 7! I feel like I keep pushing myself to do better, is it working? Alrighty, bye minna-san~! :D

****


	10. Chapter 10

I AM SO SORRY! My lateness is inexcusable, and I thoroughly apologize. WAHH! I'M SO SORRY! TT^TT

**Chapter 10: Celebration**

CN313: IT'S CHAPTER 10! LET'S PARTYYY!

Rogue: Well, you can't party.

CN313: But... Why not?

Rogue: Because you procrastinated. Now you have too much work to do.

CN313: Aww...

Rogue: Ya lazy bitch

CN313: … Today's reviews are from my second LORD AND MASTER -the first is Foamy- DEVIL'SEYEALCHEMIST13~~!

Rogue: Oh joy. Crazies.

CN313: ...I am so tempted to reveal Himei, but I won't, because I'm a good friend.

Rogue: And I appreciate that

**Ed: Who's Himei?**

CN313: You don't wanna know...

Rogue: Yeah you really don't

**Ed: Okay then... 0_o**

**Winry- Have a cat**

**Winry: Uh... Thanks? Maybe this'll come in handy at some point, who knows?**

****

Al- Get your body back and drink a gallon of milk  


**Al: *does dare**

CN313: You're no fun!

**Al: Why not? Because I do things when I'm asked?**

CN313: Yeah!

**Al: Fine then. *splashes second gallon of milk in CN's face**

CN313: *gagging* DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?

**Al: Am I fun now?**

Rogue: Yes

CN313: ...Bitch

**Ed- Spend all your money on tools and then burn them**

**Ed: Is this supposed to be some kind of Winry torture?**

**Winry: MY BABIES!**

**Ed: They aren't even yours!**

**Winry: SO YOU AVE SOME USE FOR TOOLS?**

**Ed: Well, I do now. *burns tools**

CN313: Woah~! That fire looked sooo awesome!

**Kimblee: It was a gift from God!**

CN313: Actually, it was a gift from Satan.****

**Riza- Burn something down**

**Riza: *burns giant statue that says "Something"**

Rogue: Oh wow

CN313: How... Literal.****

**Roy- Admit you like Riza.**

**Roy: Okay. I like Riza.**

**Riza: *shoots Roy's shoulder**

**Roy: YOU BIG FAT MEANIE!**

Rogue/CN313: CHESS MOMENT!

**Roy: What?**

Rogue/CN313: Nothing.****

**Scar and Kimblee- Blow shit up with dynamite. No alchemy/alkahestry.**

**Kimblee: YEAH DYNAMITE!**

**Scar: I only destroy sins against God**

CN313: Justin Bieber

**Scar: Point taken**

**Homunculi- Do 10 hours of community service. This includes Father.**

**Homunculi/Father: Awww...**

****

Military personnel- Try to destroy the world in 10 hours.

**Fuery: So... While the homunculi try to clean the world, we're destroying it?**

**Falman: That's a twist of events.**

****

Anyone else FMA I didn't mention- Eat my Mom's tuna casserole. I will give you a chance to torch a person of your choosing besides me and Chibi if you don't puke.

_*After most fall down in pain and horror..._

**Breda: I DID IT!**

CN313: Congrats. *hands torch* NOW GO BURN SOMEBODY!

**Breda: Sweet. *burns L**

CN313: NOO! MY SWEET L! WHY?

**Breda: THAT'S FOR STEALING ALL OF THE FOOD I COULD HAVE BEEN GETTING!**

CN313: Who new Breda could be so scary... *revives L****

**Death Note peeps- Well, uh... join the homunculi in community service. **

**(Everyone from Death Note): Aww...**

CN313: Today is backwards dayy!

Rogue: Huh?

CN313: I put in the newest review from Devil'sEye first, and the oldest is going second.

Rogue: Ah. I see.

CN313: Oh yeah! I'm dragging Rogue and a few other people to a con in September! Rogue, let's show off our cosplays!

Rogue: But... It's not finished quite yet... And my hair...

CN313: It's okay, I'll help you.

_*An hour and a half later..._

Rogue: *walks out in Winry costume

CN313: *walks out in Konata costume

Rogue: I thought you were supposed to be Ed!

CN313: Do you know how hard it is to find cheap leather pants in exactly my size?

Rogue: Oh...

**Al: I love your costumes guys!**

**Winry: Me too! Your clothes look exactly like mine...**

**Ed: ...*blushing* Isn't it... Revealing? Your Winry costume? **

**Winry: I wear that all the time!**

**Ed: Yeah, but... DAMMIT PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!**

Rogue: Why? Is my sexyness too much for you to handle, Half-Metal?

**Ed: *blushing* Wh-wh-WHAT? *flips out**

CN313: Nobody appreciates my Konata... And her hair was so hard to get right on the wig... *pouts

**L: I like it. It looks very nice on you.**

CN313: *blushing* Shut up... G-get back to your community service...

**L: *shrugs, goes back**

**Well, look what the cat dragged in...**

CN313: Huh?

****

A chainsaw battle, huh? You guys are lucky you didn't face the Devil in that one.

**Ed: Quoting our host, huh?**

**Well, I am the Devil after all...**

**Roy: I'm guessing that's why you have a flaming sword with you.**

**This? No! I always carry this around. I can turn it into a flamethrower too. My name is Kaede Mustang, FYI. Onto dares of such random epicosity! I'm feeling vigourusly creative today.**

Rogue: That's what she said****

**And apparently what you said too. You can thank me for teaching Chibi how to chuck a book at you.**

Rogue: THAT WAS YOU?

CN313: In a way... Yes.

Rogue: YOU MOTHER FU-****

**Ed- Have some cheesecake.**

****

Ed: Sure... *eats cheesecake* This is good! What's in it?

**Milk. A whole lot of it.**

**Ed: *barfs***

**Cleanup on aisle 2!**

Al- Baka ai o neko no usagi!

**Al: Huh?**

CN313: STOP QUOTING ME, DAMMIT!****

Al: Blame the Devil.

**I said Idiot Lover of Cats and Bunnies!**

**Al: MEANIE! *starts crying and goes to emo corner***

**I still don't get how a hollow suit of armor can cry...**

Roy- You're an awesome guy.

**Roy: Why thank you!**

**Make out with me!**

**Roy: Huh?**

**A. You people have to stop quoting Chibi unless you want her to go nuts**

B. You're married to me in mine (which you all should read, Chibi does too), and recognized as an item with me in another. It's not that big a deal.

**Roy: Oh, fine! *makes out with Kaede* And another thing, why do you have my last name?**

**Were you not paying attention? I'm going by names in mine.**

**Roy: Oh. You're good at kissing.**

**Arigatou!**

Winry- What hammer is best to beat people up with? I need to know.

**Winry: Well, I usually use a wrench, but I would say a medium-sized rubber mallet works best.**

**Greedling- How would you like to have world domination with me? That goes for both Greed and Ling.**

**Greedling: How do you do that!**

**I'm the Devil! Duh! That's a stupid question; you owe me fifty cents.**

**Greedling: What?**

CN313: It's a rule in her fic. Stupid question plus easy answer equals fifty cents.

**Greedling: Damn! *hands her fifty cents**

CN313: You owe me too!

**Greedling: What the hell for?**

CN313: You asked a stupid question to me, and I answered it. TWICE. Now you owe me a dollar!

Rogue: I think I'll come to like this game *grins evilly

**Greedling: *hands CN313 a dollar**

**Kimblee- The genius we all know and secretly love! Could not forget you! I'm going as a step in my plan to eliminate Al-Qaida (the people Bin Laden was with). Would you like to help me out? Fire and explosions are always a good combo.**

**Kimblee: I'd be honored. Also, I'm afraid of what would happen if I had said otherwise.**

CN313: No you weren't, you don't fear anything!

**Kimblee: Which just proves how terrifying she is**

CN313: Fair enough.****

**Anyone who wants this cat has to fight for it!**

**Cat: *jumps on CN313's shoulders purring**

Rogue: Guess not then...

CN313: Cats like me. You know, my whole inner-neko? The reason for the 'Neko' in my pen name?

Rogue: That's where that comes from?

CN313: *is suddenly surrounded by cats

**Al: Kitties!**

CN313: What'd I tell ya?

Rogue: Point taken...****

**Jana, sayonara Chibi-chan! **

CN313: *waving like an idiot* BYE!

Rogue: See ya

CN313: Well, we actually have a new reviewer!

Rogue: Really? I'm surprised. Who?

CN313: Actually, it's four reviewers

Rogue: What?

CN313: Guess I'm more popular than you thought huh? Yup! I have 30 reviews and 10 chapters!

Rogue: Wow. I am sincerely impressed

CN313: As you should be. Our last dares today are from Eliza Ambro Lauren Gabby

**All: Hello people.  
**

CN313: Heyyy!

**Gabby: We have various dares, and in a previous ff they read about L not liking meat, this is my question to you, do you?**

**L: Meat is fine... I prefer sweets though.**

**Eliza: You take too long, my dare! *evil grin*. Ed, I dare you to drink curdled milk, three gallons of it actually. Hehe...**

_*in the long run, Ed did the dare. I'm growing lazy and am too tired to type it up*_****

**Ambro: Poor Ed, he gets picked on too much. my dare, simple really. **

**Light: I dare you to go up to every girl you meet at the mall and ask them to marry you for an entire day. Misa, you cannot object or else you'll be sent to the underworld. If you do not comply Light, you will met by uncle Freddy Crueger, the mass serial killer. all is written in the book of rules. *other girls stare in horror***

Lauren: I'd listen if i were you. 

_*and in this long run, Light ended up being arrested for having multiple wives. He ended up with 16 of them*_

CN313: Well, that's all folks!

Rogue: But with less stuttering at the end

CN313: Now can we party?

Rogue: Fiiiiine... Yes, we can party

CN313: YAY!

Rogue: Can we bring Jack Sparrow?

CN313: CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. And HELL YEAH!

**Roy: *snaps giant book closed* And that, children, is the story of how to fanfiction writers ended up pass-out drunk on a Friday afternoon. See you next time when France invades your vital regions!**

_*quick A/N: Yes. I have seen Axis Powers now. I loved it. I fangirled over HRE and Chibitalia. Feel free to fangirl about it yourself.*_


	11. Chapter 11

I swear I'm not dead! I am a horrible person I'm so sorry! I'M SO SORRY! Um... Please enjoy chapter 11 of Dares and Such. Let's call this Season 2! Yeah, Dares and Such, Season 2. Since I was away for so long, it's appropriate :D.

**Chapter 11: *crawls out from underneath a rock***

CN313: GUESS WHO'S BACK BETCHES!

Rogue: *threateningly wields chainsaw

CN313: I'M SO SORRY I SWEAR I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON BUT HERE'S AN UPDATE HONEST I'LL REVERT TO ONCE A WEEK I SWEAR!

Rogue: *lowers weapon

CN313: Also, welcome to Dares and Such, Season 2!

**Ed: Season 2?! I thought this shit was over!**

CN313: LULZNOPE

**Ed: Bu-**

CN313: Hey! This week's topic: Homestuck!

**Ed: Wha-**

CN313: It's Season 2, right? Gotta spice it up a bit! *rump-bumps Ed

_(*insert "Ole!" from Allois here*)_

**Ed: Righhhhttt... 0_0**

CN313: So, to start off, my good friend, Vice Deveraux!

**Yo. Vice in the house. **

CN313: Hi Vicey~! Love yous!

**Ed! I darez you to make out with chibineko while dressed like a sugerplum faerie! **

Rogue: Woah dude. Woah. Are you trying to kill Chibi? That's my job!

CN313: This. Is why we are Internet friends.

**Ed: No. No way in fucking hell.**

_*5 minutes later_

Rogue: Color me impressed- I didn't think you'd get him into the costume.

CN313: I'd rather be colored red. Amirite, Homestuck fandom?

Rogue: Nobody gives a shit, Chibi. Nobody gives a shit.

**Ed: *inches slowly away from group**

CN313: Oh no you don't, lover boy! *grabs Ed and twirls into tango position

**Ed: LOVER BOY?!**

Rogue: Get the dare done, and I'll make sure nobody sees this. *holds up cassette tape

**Ed: H-how did you find this?!**

Rogue: Pssh. Bitch please. Care to explain, Chibi?

CN313: Fangirls are better than the fucking FBI.

**Ed: ... **

Rogue: *flaunts tape

**Ed: ...*does dare**

_*7 minutes later_

Rogue: ...Yup, she's dead. 

CN313: *dazed* N-no I'm... Fine... *wipes blood from nose

**Al...HI! HUGZ? **

**Al: Uhh... Okay? *hugs Vice**

CN3133: … I ship it.

Rogue: Not this again...

H: *comes in, high-fives Chibi, walks out

CN313: Indeed.

**I GIVE YOU KITTIES AND HUG L! **

CN313: Wait are you talking to Al or the hosts...? AH FUCK IT! EVERYONE GETS A KITTY~~!

_*Cats rain from the studio ceiling_

CN313: AND EVERYONE HUGS L! Wait... No... L IS MINE! BACK OFF!

Rogue: Woah, no need t-

CN313: *perches menacingly over L, growling

Rogue: O-kayyy then...

CN313: Okay, that's all for today! :D

Rogue: Oh hell no! You have to catch up on reviews!

CN313: But I'm a lazy ass... I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm not dead, and that I'll be back on my weekly schedule!

Rogue: ...Just wait till I see you in person...

CN313: 0_0... Bye?


	12. Chapter 12

… **I am a worthless human being. Feel free to lash out at me. (Unless you're Rogue- I think you've done enough of that!) Oh, also, today we'll start off in a bit of a different format than normal... Cred to Rogue for the idea for today's chapter :D!**

**Chapter 12: ROAAD TRIIIIPPPP MOTHAFUCKASSS!**

Chibi stared at her computer screen blankly, and began to drool. OpenOffice was up and running, but her creative juices were not, so the monitor remained as blank as her mind. The little thingy that marks your place in writing went _blinkblinkblink _over and over. Nothing was being typed. Chibi continued to stare, until her forehead decided to introduce itself to the keyboard. That is to say, our dear otaku did a literal head-desk. She stayed there, groaning and whining. "I hateeee writers blockkkk... KILL ME NOWWWWW."

Rogue came up stealthily behind her, and whacked Chibi upside the head, startling her into an upright position. "YOU BITCH IT'S BEEN LIKE THREE WEEKS WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE IF YOU DON'T FUCKING UPDATE YOU'LL LOSE ALL OF YOUR READERS AND WHAT LITTLE POPULARITY YOU ACTUALLY HAVE WILL BE LOST!" Chibi slowly faced her friend, eyes hazy and unfocused.

"Oh, hey there, my little tsundere friend. It's been a while, eh?" she smiled lazily, turning away from the computer.

Rogue's eyebrow twitched, agitated. "It's been, like, 5 hours, Chibi."

"That long? Wow." Her voice was absent-minded.

Rogue showed the closest thing to concern a tsundere like herself could manage. "Please, Chibi? For fuck's sake, just sit down and write!"

Chibi motioned to her monitor. "Writer's block. How do you expect me to write when I have all this fucking algebra homework and when I rarely use the computer anymore?!"

Her sudden change of tone surprised Rogue, and she blinked stupidly. "Okay, look. That's not why I really came here, anyway. What I really wanted to say was that EL and I have been planning a trip for a while, because we've been concerned about your mental health..." she blushed a bit.

_(*cough* totally feel free to start shipping RoguexChibi I don't ca- *is whacked be Rogue* SHIP IT SHIP WHILE YOU STILL CAN)_

Chibi rubbed her forehead. "Look, that's really, really nice, but I-"

"C'mon, it'll help give you ideas for the fic! You love road trips!"

"...Fine. Let me pack and shower first."

_A few hours later~..._

Rogue pointed at Chibi's bags and sweatdropped. "D-do, uh... Do you really need all that?"

Chibi looked innocently up at her friend. "Huh? Yeah, of course I do." She began lugging large suitcases into Rogue's vintage VW bus.

Lemme talk to you about that bus. It may have been an old thing, but let me tell you, it ran _great_. It had been spray-painted by Rogue, EL, and Chibi herself the previous summer. It was the perfect hippie van. On the rear-view mirror hung peace signs, mini dream-catchers, and an Usa-chan mini-plushie (compliments of Chibi). The interior was crazy. The theme was basically "color and chaos". The seat covers were feaux-fur of many different colors, posters of various anime characters and indie bands, collages, and caricatures (made by Chibi) collided on the walls. Since it was a used vehicle, previously owned by hippies, they had discovered a small cupboard that had been used to store marijuana. Rogue was using it to store tampons.

Okay, back to our favorite freaks. Once they had finished loading up, Chibi plopped down across from EL, and Rogue began driving. Chibi, as it had turned out, had brought enough manga along to fill a house. "I'll admit," Rogue said, laughing, "I'm impressed by your packing skills!" Chibi and EL laughed along, and Chibi pulled out a favorite of hers- _Dengeki Daisy Vol. 3_, and began to read. This is where things get freaky.

A muffled shout could be heard, and shit, it sounded _close_. Chibi's eyes darted around the room nervously, and EL shrank back in her seat a bit. More muffled shouts. It sounded like ten people where having a scream-off into their pillows. Rogue got mad. "_I CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE LIKE THIS!" _She screeched as she pulled the bus over, as did the tires. "Okay, what the fuck is going on here?!"

Chibi shrugged, and EL shrank further back.

Rogue tilted her head up, like a hound searching for a scent. Muffled shouts. She followed the sound to one of Chibi'e many bags. "Chibiii..." she spoke in a warning tone, and turned to galre at said girl. "What. Is in. This bag?"

Chibi's eyes darted around nervously, and flushed. "Oh! Uh, must be my phone, yeah! My phone. Ahahaha... Ha... I'll just, uh... Answer it later... Heheh... Uhm." Rogue reached for the zipper. "WAIT NO DON- I mean, uh. I'll just get it later, really, no big deal... Ahahaa..."

And so the bag burst open, and out sprang Edward Elric. Hands tied behind his back, a gag in his mouth, and rope half-undone around his ankles.

_(Swtiching POV's, oooh)_

And so, here we are, in a van, my secret found out. Basically, I had packed the entire FMA cast into my suitcases. Rogue, looked from me, to the cast that had been bound and gagged, back to me, and back to the cast. Then back to me. I flinched, preparing for her to slap me silly. And then she started to laugh. I looked up hesitantly, and she was laughing so hard, tears began forming in her eyes. I sighed, relieved, and let loose a smile. Rogue started to talk, still laughing. "I-if I w-wasn't impr-impressed by your pa-packing skills b-before, then I s-sure am now!"

**A/N: … Thoughts? Suggestions? "Dammit Chibi gimme some fucking dares like normal!"? Lemme know! It's gonna be fun to write- Lemme tell ya! **

… **PS: I SHIP ROGUExCHIBI AHAHAHAHA! Let's come up with a ship name guys!**


End file.
